it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
