Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
