I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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