brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
