Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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