careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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