It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
