I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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