Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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