i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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