If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
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This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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