You work out of a Hotel?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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