in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
