the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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