i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
