your thong is hanging out like whoa
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
