I just gift wrapped bread.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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