Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
