So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
