That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
