Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
