also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
