hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize