his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
