I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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