she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Who died my cat blue again?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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