then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
