Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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