On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
