I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
