Dude my mom stole all your condoms
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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