in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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