seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
