Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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