I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
