i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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