Don't you send me to vm
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it