What should our trivia night team be named?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"