you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.