Dude my mom stole all your condoms
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires