What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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