hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?