Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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