I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
