i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am mentally ready for anal.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
