I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize