i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
