It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
