the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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