so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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