I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
