ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
