Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
