if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
