your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
