i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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