Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
