shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
