Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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