dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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