I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize