Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
