I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
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WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
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