so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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