You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
