i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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